Six Years Ago Today...

Six years ago...
I became a Mommy.
I learned what a blessing that was.
I fell in love faster than I knew was possible.
I held in my hands a perfect miracle.
I felt more physical pain than I had ever known.
I felt more joy than I could have imagined.
My life had changed.

Five years ago...
I was learning how to be Mommy.
I was treasuring giggles.
I was savoring memories.
I enjoyed watching so many firsts.

Four years ago...
I was learning how to be a mommy of two.
I loved 'visiting' with my growing son.
I watched as he learned and grew in amazing ways.

Three years ago...
I was expecting baby #3.
I was still learning how to be Mommy.
I was adjusting to living in a new part of the country.
I watched my boys' interests change and mature.
I saw my 'baby' turn into a 'boy'.

Two years ago...
I had three blessings who called me Mommy.
 I was still learning how to do it.
I was bursting with pride watching my baby be the biggest brother.
I was facing new challenges and new joys.

One year ago...
I was soon to be Mommy to four.
I was still learning that role.
I was adjusting to a new home and lifestyle.
I watched my baby boy become a maturing little man.
I thought he was amazing.
I felt like life was just about perfect.

Today...
I am the Mommy to four.
I'm still learning every day.
I 'celebrated' my oldest son's birthday at the cemetery.
I have felt more emotional pain than I thought possible.
I discovered that it's possible to feel joy through pain.
I have felt an eternal joy.
I look at my family and see blessings.
I also see a missing piece.
I feel God's hand of love.
He's got my baby.
That's worth celebrating.

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People talk about all those 'firsts'.  The first Christmas, the family event, the anniversary date, and the first birthday without your child. 
Today we had the first birthday without our Skyler. 
But he had his first birthday WITH his Father! 
It was his best birthday ever. 

I thought it would be harder. 
Last night it was. 
I felt like I should have been wrapping gifts, decorating the house, and making a cake for my big 6 year old who should have been thrilled
and counting down the minutes until he turned six. 
But we woke up this morning with a peace. 
God was still sending little signs to us that He had us covered. 
Today I held two day old puppies, from the same puppy pictured above that Skyler got for his birthday last year. 
She had four puppies, three living, and one that didn't make it.
The picture of the cross in the sky was taken as we left from the cemetery today.  Skyler saw crosses in everything. 
Little miracles, signs from God, reminders of His love. 

I close this day, the day of Skyler's birth,
feeling like we truly were able to celebrate.
  I feel relief seeing again that God will carry us through the tough times, in ways we didn't consider. I look at all these years of pictures and am so thankful for the memories I have of this amazing little boy. 
I see how much he taught me.
  I see how greatly I have been blessed.

We were blown away at the love that was shown by so many of you. 
We didn't expect so much support,
didn't know so many people would remember. 
Thank you for that.


Every good and perfect gift comes from above
James 1:17