I yearn to be godly. I desire more than anything for my boys to be godly & love Jesus above all else but I know they are watching my every move. I’m the poorest example.
I’d love to be more organized & have a clean house so I can sanely raise my boys & be a better wife.
I need to make my husband a priority over my boys & house but so frequently he is the last on my list.
Sometimes I just wish I could get it together. That I could be the mom & person I want and desire to be. Often, I hate who I am being. I am tired of the house always being disorganized chaos, of unintentionally putting my house above spending time with my boys, & trying so hard but always failing.
The list of things I want to do & be to those in my life is long. I feel as if I’m failing in every single area. I know I can’t be perfect but for some reason, I can’t quite get it to come out in my actions. More often than not, I can’t seem to get out of the rut of discouragement & failure. Every day I start anew but it comes right back when I’m lazy, continue my bad habits, ignore or yell at the kids, waste time, etc. Satan loves to steal my joy.
When I was in my last rut, I prayed, cried & begged God for wisdom, strength, & courage to get out of it. He let me stay in that rut for a couple weeks, which is longer than only a day or so the times before, & it was so frustrating! I couldn’t get it together & I just kept pleading with God for help. He answered my prayers, in each of the ways I was praying, over a few days. On the way home from TriCities one weekend, he spoke to me through the radio in regards to strength. A guy was telling a true story about a girl, about my size, whose dad was working under a car in their garage. Somehow the car fell on him. She prayed for strength & lifted a 2000 lb car off of her dad!!! God told me that if he can give her the strength to lift a car, then he can most certainly give me the strength to keep getting up each day & do the best I can doing the things He has set out for me. He just wanted me to ask for it & believe.
I’ve been hearing from moms lately about feeling like failures. I think it may be close to all of us mommies. Satan knows how important our roles are for the souls & futures of our kids so he does everything he can to deter us. Any of you mommies out there struggle with this too? Do you feel the pressure to be perfect? You are NOT alone!
I couldn’t understand why I feel so much pressure to do everything right. It bugged me because I know that I cannot be perfect & do everything correctly, but knowing that did not make the pressure go away. Romans 7:19-20 describes me exactly! “For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.”
Beyond Bath Time by Erin Davis says that we can find hope when we confront the lie that we tend to believe about being perfect, with God’s truth! I love this excerpt from there:
“You cannot mother perfectly. But that should never have been the goal. You can mother with purpose because Christ has promised that where you are weak He is strong.
In fact, I want to encourage you to make 2 Corinthians 12:9 your new motherhood mantra: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
How would your world change if you let yourself move away from the notion that you need to mother perfectly and toward the radical idea that motherhood challenges are a gift because they clear a path for God to work in and through you?”
Now how awesome is that?!
I’m so thankful that my heart is in the hands of my Heavenly Father. I know he will mold me into the mom my boys need me to be. He will show me how & give me the strength. I pray someday that when my boys see my mistakes, they see Christ shining through them. When they see my imperfections, they see how perfect Christ is in my stead. When they see my failures, they see my reliance on Christ & how He is molding me. When they look at me, they see how I love them so immensely & did my very best, but that I am just a sinful person in need of a Savior, just like them. I hope they don’t hold my short comings & mistakes against me.
Think again about what is said in 2 Corinthians 12:9. “…my power is made perfect in weakness.” KJV says “…my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Let that sink in. It gives me great joy & makes me want to jump up & down praising God! :) We are FREE to be weak & imperfect because Christ is strong & perfect FOR us!