sharing from my heart to yours
This has been a summer filled with pain.
Starting with the loss of my own son in May, I have attended five funerals for different relatives in the church we attend.
My sweet 5 year old boy.
A life seemed to be cut short as it was just beginning.
A 46 year old cousin.
A life of pain amidst tough times.
An 89 year old great uncle.
A full life ready to say goodbye.
A 95 year old great uncle.
So many years and so many loved ones left behind.
A tiny little boy.
Born asleep to our friends/cousin.
Returning home from the church today, after seeing our friends lay their sweet baby boy to rest, who didn't get to take even one breath,
life just didn't seem fair.
How much more can we take?
We are a hurting people, a group where none have been left untouched.
And there are so many others that we are connected to who have also lost loved ones in the last couple of months.
The future seems bleak as we struggle along through this life.
We wonder, what's next?
Will these heartaches keep coming?!
And reality hits as we realize...yes... they will.
This is a hurting world.
God tells us there WILL be pain and sorrow.
But THERE IS HOPE!!
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
We can be encouraged, strengthened, lifted up!
We know that there IS an end to all of this pain and heartache!
Because of Christ, one day all those we have longed
for will be with us once again!
He has prepared a Heavenly Home for us.
In this place there will be no more pain... or death...or tears.
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
It reminds me of this song:
1. God hath not promised skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labor, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
2 God hath not promised we shall not know
Toil and temptation, trouble and woe;
He hath not told us we shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care.
3 God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,
Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;
Never a mountain, rocky and steep,
Never a river, turbid and deep.
Let us remember, than even though hard times are inevitable,
God HAS promised us so much!
I think of all of the heartache outside of our own little world.
The Christians being brutally persecuted for their faith.
The families torn apart by bitterness or abuse.
The tragedies from natural disasters around the world.
We only have ONE hope.
ONE way to persevere through this life.
HE is the way
He makes beauty from the ashes.
He gives strength for the day.
He gives us a FOREVER resting place.
As a side note, please continue to pray for us as our hearts ache.
On Tuesday school will start, without our little boy.
The bus will drive by, but won't stop at our house.
Life is moving ahead, even with him gone.
It's not easy, but we have hope.
It's been 15 weeks since we said goodbye.
Most days I still feel numb and in shock.
Then come the days where the hurt breaks through in full force.
Today was one of those days.
We miss him.
He was so full of life!
I used to say that I didn't know what I would do without him.
Now I know.
Or maybe I don't... it's too hard to look ahead.
It's just one day at a time, taking in the blessings we're still being filled with.
About a week before Skyler died, I was reading a fictional book. It was about a woman who lost her blond haired, blue eyed, 5 year old boy in an accident.
The book was about how she faced life and dealt with the grief.
I have to read at night before I can fall asleep.
That is what I read every night the week before he died. I went to sleep imagining how I would deal with it. What it would be like to lose my Skyler.
The morning he died, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't a great book anyways, and certainly not something I wanted to fall asleep to every night! I brought it back to the library when I brought the kids there that afternoon. We came home and then it was chore time.
Skyler never came back.
I found out what it was like to lose your
blond haired, blue eyed, 5 year old boy.
So now I wonder...
was God preparing my heart for the loss of my own son?
My husband and parents also had experiences or feelings of coming sadness.
Of course God knew this would happen.
Skyler was only meant to be here 5 years. It was time for him to go.
He blessed us with his life in ways nobody can understand.
I could talk about the person he was, the things he did, the faith he had for hours. But I don' t think that's the point. There's something bigger than our sweet Skyler going on here. He has received his reward. He is happier than he ever has been, his smile bigger than we ever saw it.
Now it's about us. How we live, what we learn, where we go from here.
Will others see the Truth, through Skyler's death?
Will Christ be glorified and proclaimed by all of those who mourn?
So really...now it's about Christ.
We have been able to see His blessings.
I have never felt as close to our Savior as I have during this time.
It has been 15 weeks since Skyler died, and I have had TWO days since then that I haven't seen anyone outside of our own family (as in the 4, or now 5, of us)!!
Before, I was always more of a home body type. If we had plans for more than 2-3 days in a week, I'd start to get stressed out.
The last 3 months have been completely and fully filled with things EVERY day. And I've been ok with it. Some days it would be after supper and I'd think, maybe today will be the first day we don't see anyone all day...and someone would pull in the driveway at 8:00 at night! Family from the west coast has been here for a total of 8 of weeks, at different times. What a blessing!
God truly knows what we need, even when we don't know ourselves!
All those fears that I had about losing a child... they were real! And they haven't gone away still. But I have learned a little about faith in God's promise.
HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US.
He has been here, holding us up in his gracious hands, blessing us in SO many amazing ways. Do the blessings outweigh the loss? I don't know if I'll ever be able to say that in this life, but someday, we'll know the reasons.
And our biggest comfort?
He hasn't left our Skyler either!!
May the day come soon that we can ALL join Him in that Perfect Place!
Keep praying for us as we face these tough days, and thank you for blessing us in the ways that you have!
Hello and Welcome!