sharing from my heart to yours
So I've been thinking a lot about life recently.
Ha. What else is new?!
But more specifically, what is our purpose?
Why are we here?
Who are we living for?
I think we can all give those answers somewhat easily.
In a nutshell, we are here to spread the love of Christ to the World.
I think sometimes, though, in the mundane of life, we forget.
I was visiting with some friends recently and we were discussing the topic of living for others, versus living for God.
Are we people-pleasers or God-pleasers?
Do we make choices based on what others will think of us?
Do we allow God to work in our lives in all circumstances?
Personally, I know this is a struggle for me.
Even here on the blog, I sometimes doubt about sharing my heart.
Will people think I'm trying just to get attention?
Will the like it or think it's dumb?
If they say they like it will I take the credit and be prideful?
If I am criticized, will I quit?
What if a lot of people read it?!
What if nobody reads it?!
I don't write often here, but it is one of the many areas in my life that this type of questioning comes about.
But we can ask these kinds of questions about anything...
Am I too focused on my job?
Do people think it's a waste of time?
Should I be wearing this style of clothes?
What if people think it's strange?
I wonder if I'm too hard on my kids.
Or maybe I'm too soft.
People might not think I'm doing it right.
I have something I want to give.
But they might think it's dumb.
What if I'm spending too much money on this?
Maybe I shouldn't go there, people might think I'm high class.
I don't want to go there, someone might think I can't do better.
I wonder what that person will think if they see this.
I'll just stay home, then people can't look down on me.
I can't stay home, people might think I'm stuck up!
You get the point.
Every single thing in life can become a point of doubting ourselves.
How sad that is.
We are so quick to hide who we really are.
We hide our hearts.
We hide behind excuses or make choices based on the people around us.
Some of these questions maybe SHOULD be asked.
But in a different way.
WHO are we living our lives for?
So the answer to all of those questions should be directed towards Him.
Would God think this decision is worth my time?
Am I following His leading by making this choice?
Does this thing in my life glorify Him?
We can so quickly forget that.
We worry and wonder about others will think of us,
without even considering what God will think.
People's opinions really don't matter.
It is hard to go against the grain and be different.
It's not easy to make choices that people around you might not like.
Going out of our comfort zone to do something we feel that God is leading us to can be a challenge.
Making changes in our lives because of God's calling isn't a simple thing.
We can live for others (or even ourselves), or we can live for God.
There is only one way.
It's not the easiest way.
Our God doesn't promise a smooth journey.
In fact, He tells us that the whole world may be against us.
But I come back to my title questions...
What's the point?
'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Let us ask God to guide us.
May He help us to live for Him,
without being concerned about the opinions of others.
I pray we can be real with each other.
Lets share our hearts, the joys and the struggles.
May we be confident in the person He created us to be.
And may we be sure in the faith He has given us.
...We can't stop it.
Or slow it down.
Or speed it up.
No matter what we are experiencing in life,
time continues to pass at the same rate, day after day.
I think this is a blessing, even though we are rarely content in it.
But time creates memories.
It gives us things to look forward to.
It assures us that things will change when we're feeling stuck.
It teaches us when we look back at the past.
It heals hurts.
7 years back in time (as of yesterday), my Skyler was born.
Nearly two years ago, he closed his eyes, only to open them again in Heaven.
82 years ago, my Papa was born.
Just over a week ago, he opened his eyes to see his Creator.
Time is funny like that.
It doesn't always make sense to us.
I believe there is no time in Heaven.
They are just there, and it's forever.
For Skyler and Papa, they are Home.
We're still stuck in this land of time, so we look ahead.
We wonder when our turn will come.
There is no way to know.
But we can be ready.
Both my son and my grandpa blessed my life in big ways.
With the passing of time, and the ability to look back, I am seeing how God has taught me in different ways, using His people as tools to do it.
Papa has an amazing legacy.
He lived his life serving his Lord.
He wasn't perfect, but he carried the torch of his faith.
He left behind many who can continue.
He was one of the people who taught me about Jesus.
Especially in my preteen and early teenage years.
I remember him telling me stories,
inspiring me with his mission,
and teaching me what having a personal faith really meant.
Those are (almost) all of my cousins from my mom's side of the family,
as well as about 1/3 of the great grandchildren.
It was a privilege to get reacquainted with them,
as we gathered to remember and say goodbye to our dear grandpa.
It was a bittersweet time, as death often is.
That woman in the center of the photo...
that's my grandma.
She is one of the strongest people I know.
I can't imagine the things that time has brought to her,
and the ways that God has taught her through it.
Looking back into the more recent past...
this little boy.
He is the little boy who made me a mother.
The feeling of holding your first child in your arms is completely mind blowing.
There is truly know way to describe it.
But I think the things that happen in our hearts in the days and months and years that follow is even more amazing.
I had no idea what God would teach me through this sweet little life.
For me, becoming a mom showed me so many things.
How truly selfish I was.
How big my heart could grow without actually exploding.
How much control I gave to fear.
How easily priorities in life could get mixed up.
How much God truly sacrificed for His children.
That I really didn't have as much patience as I once thought.
And that I didn't have child raising figured out after all.
How tightly we can hold on.
And how hard it is to let go.
On and on the list goes.
I am starting to see how little we actually know in this life.
God is shaping us and molding us through every experience.
He puts people in our life that teach us and challenge us.
Some of those things have been very hard.
Yet even through those things, I have seen His faithfulness.
Despite who I am.
Despite all of my mess ups.
Despite my stubbornness.
He is the patient Father.
His arms are always open.
His ears are always listening.
His LIFE has been given for ME.
I am thankful.
And because of all of this,
the little boy, who we celebrated yesterday...
the one who we miss with aching hearts...
who had a grin that would light up a room...
who has taught me so much...
I will see him again.
But how long?
How many more days do I have to wait?
It doesn't matter.
Because He is faithful.
His promise is sure.
And there is no time when we are talking about Forever.
Hold onto His promise.
Believe it and KNOW.
Hello and Welcome!