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In this life we grow so much. I’ve been watching my kids grow and learn. The world through their eyes is so amazing! From the time we are born, we grow in many ways. The tiny baby’s eyes light up as they learn to recognize the people who love them. Their pride when they take their first steps, or learn to ride a bike. The inches on the measuring stick getting higher off the ground. But in so many ways, even when we reach the highest point of our growth chart physically, we are just beginning to grow in other ways. This, of course, depends on each person and their life experiences. As we leave the comfortable nest of our parents’ home, and stretch our wings to fly, we often take a few spills, or battle through some fierce storms. We face the world on our own, or find a partner to struggle through with. Many of us start our own families, and we try to teach our little ones some of the lessons we learned. But mostly, learning and growing come through experience. As I look back over the past year, I am filled with many emotions. I remember the gut wrenching pain of holding my lifeless child. I remember the joy of realizing that one of my own is Home. I have felt anger and frustration. I have felt peace and comforting assurance. And through all of this, I know that I am being molded into the person that God wants me to be. I feel like I must have had a lot to learn, for something so hard to happen to teach me. But I know we don’t have a God like that. He doesn't wait, just looking for His next 'victim' that He can teach a lesson. He feels our pain, cries with us, and knows our sorrow. But He turns all things for good. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28  The balloons going up to Skyler at a get together today that was organized by some thoughtful friends. <3 So much of me wishes that I could go back and not learn. Or maybe I could be growing and learning in some easier way. But I am starting to see that God works in mysterious ways. In my own experience, it’s in those darkest, hardest times that I have felt His arms wrapped around me the tightest. He is teaching me to trust. Teaching me patience and faith. He has a plan here for me, and he’s making me into the person who I need to be to finish that plan. We talk about ‘teachable moments’ in regards to our kids. Do we look for the teachable moments for ourselves? I pray that I will be a soft clay. That God will mold me into the person he wants me to be. The refining process is hard. The heat from the fire of the trials is hot. But… …Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour… Isaiah 43:1-3 I have a long ways to go. A lot of learning left to do. The growing pains will be there, and they can be scary, but I know that I have a God who is with me always. May we all allow Him to work in us, becoming the people He wants us to be. Always clinging to Him as we face the storms, as well as the sunshine. Always praying… “Lord, keep us safe from the battle.”  One of my very favorite pictures of Skyler, recently given to me by another thoughtful friend We miss you Skyler. This year without you has been hard. But your year with Him has been beautiful! 
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Six years ago... I became a Mommy. I learned what a blessing that was. I fell in love faster than I knew was possible. I held in my hands a perfect miracle. I felt more physical pain than I had ever known. I felt more joy than I could have imagined. My life had changed.  Five years ago... I was learning how to be Mommy. I was treasuring giggles. I was savoring memories. I enjoyed watching so many firsts. Four years ago... I was learning how to be a mommy of two. I loved 'visiting' with my growing son. I watched as he learned and grew in amazing ways.   Three years ago... I was expecting baby #3. I was still learning how to be Mommy. I was adjusting to living in a new part of the country. I watched my boys' interests change and mature. I saw my 'baby' turn into a 'boy'.  Two years ago... I had three blessings who called me Mommy. I was still learning how to do it. I was bursting with pride watching my baby be the biggest brother. I was facing new challenges and new joys.  One year ago... I was soon to be Mommy to four. I was still learning that role. I was adjusting to a new home and lifestyle. I watched my baby boy become a maturing little man. I thought he was amazing. I felt like life was just about perfect.  Today... I am the Mommy to four. I'm still learning every day. I 'celebrated' my oldest son's birthday at the cemetery. I have felt more emotional pain than I thought possible. I discovered that it's possible to feel joy through pain. I have felt an eternal joy. I look at my family and see blessings. I also see a missing piece. I feel God's hand of love. He's got my baby. That's worth celebrating.
----- People talk about all those 'firsts'. The first Christmas, the family event, the anniversary date, and the first birthday without your child. Today we had the first birthday without our Skyler. But he had his first birthday WITH his Father! It was his best birthday ever. I thought it would be harder. Last night it was. I felt like I should have been wrapping gifts, decorating the house, and making a cake for my big 6 year old who should have been thrilled and counting down the minutes until he turned six. But we woke up this morning with a peace. God was still sending little signs to us that He had us covered. Today I held two day old puppies, from the same puppy pictured above that Skyler got for his birthday last year. She had four puppies, three living, and one that didn't make it. The picture of the cross in the sky was taken as we left from the cemetery today. Skyler saw crosses in everything. Little miracles, signs from God, reminders of His love. I close this day, the day of Skyler's birth, feeling like we truly were able to celebrate. I feel relief seeing again that God will carry us through the tough times, in ways we didn't consider. I look at all these years of pictures and am so thankful for the memories I have of this amazing little boy. I see how much he taught me. I see how greatly I have been blessed. We were blown away at the love that was shown by so many of you. We didn't expect so much support, didn't know so many people would remember. Thank you for that. Every good and perfect gift comes from above James 1:17  |
 Molly JoyHello and Welcome!  Skyler-
Eternally Loved -
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